A day-to-day, true to life drama of a Jamaican male, living and working in Japan.

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Thursday, February 20, 2014

Foreign Men Confess Why They Divorce Japanese Wives / Whites in Japan quick to Cry Foul about Race Issues


Funny/Weird Photo of the Week



Days 2157 - 2163
Thursday, February 13 - Wednesday, February 19, 2014 


Day 2157 ( Osaka, First Japanese City To Embrace Free Wifi )
Thursday, February 13, 2014

Had lunch and English conversation with an English supporter from my previous job as an elementary school teacher. Later on I bought some pillow cases, a futon and a futon cover.



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Osaka becomes first Japanese city to embrace free Wi-Fi



Despite its image as a sleek, technologically advanced society, Japan really sucks when it comes to free Wi-Fi hotspots. In fact, when the Japan Tourism Agency surveyed tourists about difficulties traveling in the country, a lack of free Internet access was far and away the number one answer.
One city has finally taken note and begun offering better connectivity for visitors. Osaka has just announced the launch of Osaka Free Wi-Fi, a program that brings free Wi-Fi to locations throughout the city, as part of its effort to position itself as an international gateway to rival Tokyo.
Users only have to provide a valid email address to use the service, which is compatible with Apple, Android and Windows devices. Logging in will get you 30 minutes of free Wi-Fi and there is no limit on the number of times you can log in. However, some locations only offer a “lite” version of the service, which gives you 15 minutes of Wi-Fi for up to an hour per day.

http://www.japantoday.com/category/technology/view/osaka-becomes-first-japanese-city-to-embrace-free-wi-fi?utm_campaign=jt_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_source=jt_newsletter_2014-02-04_AM

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Day 2158 ( Snowy Valentine's Day )
Friday, February 14, 2014

This week I only taught once at one of my high schools. The high schools are doing test this week and guess what? For the days that I don't work, (you guessed right), I won't be paid!!! March is already looking dismal, even though I have a trip planned for Thailand lol. Am I crazy or what? To top it off, my YMCA class also got cancelled today :o  well postponed until March. Lord help mi. The class got postponed because of a blizzard that hit the area that I am living in now. Last week you may have seen me post some snowy pics... This week ??? I literally got snowed in. Don't believe? Let me open my front door and show you........



This is actually the staircase


So yeah I stayed in and watched a Tyler Perry movie called "Think like a man" based on a book of the same name written by Steve Harvy. It was funny and you can learn some stuff about relationships by watching it.


Some of the acting was a bit off but overall the story and everything about it wasn't so bad. I give it a 6/10.

This is what I still ended up getting for my Valentine's day though.


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Day 2159 ( Snowed in Again ! )
Saturday, February 15, 2014

The YMCA called me again saying class is cancelled !! :o Oh no the snow is messing up my livelihood. This time they didn't say postpone until another time, they said CANCELLED ! Meaning no pay ! ....

The news show more than I can describe about the snow. Here is what the news said:


Kanto region beaten down by the weather like they owe it money





About a week ago the Kanto region underwent and unusually large snowfall. Although it wreaked havoc on trains and planes, residents largely made out okay by panic shoppingand building snow sculptures of cat-men and mega-pikachus.
It was enough to make people in snow burdened regions like Hokkaido send everyone a reminder of their winter woes. Then, it was as if a mad scientist in Kanto picked up that challenge and cranked their weather machine to 11 as the area was hit by another dose of disastrous weather. Here’s just some of the damage tallied.
 Well over 60,000 homes without power
On the morning of the February 15, about 15,000 Chiba residents awoke to no electricity after the storm’s winds and snow felled power lines much faster than Tokyo Electric Power Company (TEPCO) workers could put them back up.
Around the same time that morning 37,000 homes in Gunma were announced to be without power. By the end of the day, TEPCO announced an additional 20,000 homes blacked out across seven prefectures. All outages were said to be caused by wind and snow.
 Takasaki Line down
Residences weren’t the only ones who fell victim to fallen wires. The Takasaki Line running between Saitama and Gunma Prefectures also got hit with a fallen wire. In fact one of the trains literally got hit by a fallen overhead wire carrying 1,500 volts as documented by these Twitter users.
http://en.rocketnews24.com/2014/02/16/kanto-region-beaten-down-by-the-weather-like-they-owe-it-money/

Here is a video I took of what happened today just outside of my apartment.





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Watched another Tyler Perry movie today called Temptation. The theme was a good one but the acting was kinda poor. You could also see where the movie was going from the first 10-20 mins. The ending was a big lesson and it was sad. I give it a 4/10.


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Day 2160 ( Foreign Men Confess Why They Divorce Japanese Wives )
Sunday, February 16, 2014

Went to the chiropractor again today to sort out my back issues. My back has been feeling a little better now since I bought the new futon. I also had dinner at an Hawaiian restaurant near the Yokohama station.



I came here before about 2 years ago. The food was amazing!!!!! But more on the expensive side. Later on I went karaoke, first in a verrrry long while.

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Foreign men share their reasons for divorcing Japanese wives



Continuing the international marriage theme in a more unfortunate direction, we now bring you the voices of some foreign men who have gone through the experience of divorcing Japanese women. You might be surprised to learn that the main catalyst for divorce in each of their scenarios was rarely related directly to cultural differences. Instead, it seems that a combination of other factors played the decisive role.
While there is a certain allure to the thought of having a spouse from another country, such marriages also comes with their own hardships, and it is said that as many as 40% of international marriages end in divorce. Japanese blogger Madame Riri recently posted an article exploring this issue by sharing the stories of men who were asked to described the reasons they divorced their Japanese wives. Let’s take a look at some of those reasons.
First, practical issues concerning family and money played a large role in their decisions. One man mentions how he couldn’t afford to keep up with payments month after month. He tried to please his wife by buying a nice house, car, and going on overseas vacations. But such an extravagant lifestyle on top of paying off expensive school fees, child support from a previous marriage, and helping his wife’s parents financially proved to be too much:
“I think the reason for my divorce what that I mistakenly thought I could make everyone happy because I had a well-paying job. Ultimately, I couldn’t live up to those expectations.”

Another man was placed in a different terrible situation. According to him, although cultural misunderstandings were present in his marriage, they were not the root cause for divorce because he and his wife were both aware of and accepted the differences. Instead, it all boiled down to logistics:
“Because there was no one but me to take care of my aging parents, I would have had to leave Japan. Either I would have to bring my parents to Japan or my wife would have to bring her parents to Virginia.”
In the end, the couple decided to split. The man remarks that he and his ex-wife still love each other, but cannot be together due to the circumstances. Our hearts go out to you…
Like any other couple in the world, issues surrounding children can either make or break a relationship. Here’s what one man had to say about his experience:
“In my case, the reason for our divorce was simple. My wife wanted to have kids, and I didn’t. I’m not saying that the divorce wasn’t painful, but we could split fairly amicably. I ended up remarrying a woman who like me also doesn’t want children but would rather focus her energy on work.”
The next anecdote is a bit different, as the writer happens to be a foreign woman in a relationship with a Japanese man. They had once dated in the past, but the relationship eventually became strained due to their different ways of thinking and separate values, especially regarding work. However, after a period of 12 years, they have started dating again, only to be met with opposition from both families:
“My family is very opposed to this relationship. They like him as a person, but they don’t believe that he can make me happy. His parents feel the same way. We really do love each other, but I guess in reality love alone isn’t enough. It’s sad…”
Many men listed issues of love, sex, and compatibility as being big factors in their divorces. Here’s from a man whose marriage appears to be in a critical condition:
“I’m currently on the verge of getting divorced. Things have spiraled down to the point where my wife and I are discussing whether or not she will take the children back with her to Japan. If we split, the reason will be due to the absence of sex in our marriage. My wife seems to have lost all of her sex drive, although I still have mine. Apart from that, everything in our marriage was going well…”
Next, a man describes how he and his Japanese wife were married at a young age, which led to a conflict of interests as they grew older:
“When all of her friends were getting married, I was her boyfriend. When all of those friends were getting divorced, I should have realized what was going to happen. Many people blame their failed international marriage on cultural differences, but in our case it was simply avoiding responsibility on both of our ends.”
In his words, he was so young when they got married that he didn’t yet know what he really wanted to do in life. When he finally figured it out, that route didn’t include his wife. From her end, she became unhappy married to a husband who had to work 70-hour weeks of manual labor to support their living. In her loneliness she resorted to cheating on him with her ex-boyfriend. Because they weren’t honest enough at the onset about their real desires, their marriage arrived at a dead-end.
Next, a number of men remarked that their Japanese wives’ tendency to resort to anger or violence played a central role in leading to divorce. Let’s hear from a few of these cases.
“The reason that my marriage of 20 years failed was because my wife would often make a mountain out of a molehill. Many problems that could have been solved in a few minutes were blown out of proportion. It wasn’t good for our mental health.”

Similarly:
“I’m glad we got divorced. We split during our tenth year of marriage. I am now raising our two children in Australia. My ex-wife’s violent side was terrible. I couldn’t stand her lies anymore, or her neglect to our sons. It was a very bitter experience, but after getting divorced I am now living a much better lifestyle.”
The following comes from a man who has been married for seven years but whose marriage is rocky to say the least. He claims that married life would be easier if they didn’t have two young children:
“I heard this from my professor friend who specializes in international cultural exchange, but Japanese men and women are skilled at adapting themselves to different roles depending on the place and situation. For example, they almost seem to undergo a transformation in character when they change from a student into a working adult, or from a wife into a mother. I don’t know if this is related to my case at all, but my wife used to be a calm and carefree woman. But after the birth of first child, she became almost like onibaba” [Onibaba refers to a “demon-hag” in Japanese folklore that appears as an old woman and eats humans].
Now consider this bizarre case. I think anyone would want to divorce a wife like this, regardless of her nationality…
“I first began to have doubts about the future of our marriage after just returning from our honeymoon when my wife farted right in front of me. Because she had irritable bowel syndrome, it was really smelly. Our marriage crumbled apart like flakes of paint falling from a wall. She would steal food from my plate and take anything she wanted. And she was really demanding in bed – if I couldn’t meet her demands, she would pinch my ears, hit me in the ribs, or kick me down there.”
She probably couldn’t help the flatulence, but the rest of it? Yikes.
We hate to leave you with a such a gloomy ending, so let’s finish up on a more positive note with a man who encourages us all to find a partner who is a “perfect fit”:
“I’m in my mid-60s, and my Japanese wife is in her late 40s. We’ve been married for 23 years. We’ve been through good times and bad times, but have overcome them all and never had to think about getting divorced. I have been divorced twice before, and concluded that I just can’t get along with Western women. But regardless of whether you’re of the same nationality or not, as long as you’re willing to accept any cultural differences and respect one another, you have a chance to be happy.”
As we have seen, despite preconceived notions relating to cultural differences, men who have actually divorced their Japanese wives have a lot more to say about the matter. Issues surrounding mutual feelings of love, faith and compatibility seem to be at the heart of most cases, regardless of the nationality of each person. 
http://www.japantoday.com/category/lifestyle/view/foreign-men-share-their-reasons-for-divorcing-japanese-wives?utm_campaign=jt_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_source=jt_newsletter_2014-01-30_AM

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Day 2161 ( Loud Music and Party Ban )
Monday, February 17, 2014

Started preparing some documents for a trip to Thailand, then did 1 class at the YMCA today. For a trip to Thailand, I need to have a guarantor who is living in Japan !!! Basically that person will have to be proof that I am a good person and if I mess around in Thailand, they will be called....... To find someone to do this especially in Japan is verrry difficult. I asked 2 persons who I think would possibly say yes to this but they both refused. Have to go back to the drawing board. I will have to call the Thai embassy to see if someone living in Japan but not necessarily a citizen here can be my guarantor.

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The place where I go every summer to relax and enjoy a nice reggae/island vibe is going to put a ban on events in the area.


Zushi to ban loud music, alcohol at beach


The local government in Zushi, Kanagawa Prefecture, plans to submit a resolution to the municipal assembly calling for a ban on playing loud music and drinking alcohol at the city’s beach. Anyone with visible tattoos will also be barred.
According to a Sankei Shimbun report, the proposal is the result of several instances of unruly behavior at the city’s only public beach, which has turned the area into a “nightclub,” Zushi local government official Musashi Koizumi said.
There has been an increase in the number of so-called “umi no ie” (beach huts) which are being used by beachgoers to play loud music and have wild parties. Officials say moral standards among young beachgoers are deteriorating as seen in an increase in fights among drunken people, and more garbage being left on the beach, Sankei reported.
According to the local city council, the proposal includes a prohibition on drinking alcohol and barbecuing outside beach huts, prohibition of exposure of tattoos, and a ban on playing loud music on the beach or in beach huts.
http://www.japantoday.com/category/national/view/zushi-to-ban-loud-music-alcohol-at-beach?utm_campaign=jt_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_source=jt_newsletter_2014-02-04_AM


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Day 2162 ( Japan's General Outdated Mindset About Race Issues)
Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Only did my part time business English job today. The high schools are still doing tests.

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Before you read this article, I must say that many whites here especially Americans complain bitterly about race issue here in Japan. But are relatively silent about it when they are in the majority. I guess which is kinda normal. We tend to ignore stuff when we are in the majority. A lot of racism is still present in America, especially in certain states, but only the minority is crying foul. The majority white population I would say is "relatively" quiet about this.


ANA caricature speaks volumes about Japan’s outdated mind-set


Last month, a new ANA commercial hit the airwaves — and quickly ran into some serious turbulence.
The scene is Haneda Airport. Two Japanese men dressed as pilots stand with their backs to the camera.
“Haneda has more international flights nowadays,” says one.
“Finally,” replies the other.
“Next stop, Vancouver,” the first man says.
“Next stop, Hanoi,” his friend replies.
“Exciting, isn’t it?”
“You want a hug?” the taller man says, out of nowhere. The shorter man stares at him in bewilderment.
The man who proposed hugging criticizes him, saying, “Such a Japanese reaction.”
“Because I am Japanese,” the man says in his defense.
“I see,” says his partner, before falling into a contemplative silence. “Let’s change the image of Japanese people.”
When the camera returns to the shorter man, he is wearing a blond wig and a false nose of Pinocchio proportions. “Sure,” he says.
A voiceover then intones the All Nippon Airways slogan, “From Haneda to the world, ANA,” and the commercial ends.
As soon as this ad aired, ANA was inundated with criticism. The thrust of the complaints was that the ad was racist and exaggerated the physical features of white people to point of mocking them.
ANA did not seem to have anticipated such a reaction. It swiftly apologized and removed the offending final image from the clip on TV and online. (Though it was only the TV commercial that received criticism, they also took down posters of one of the actors from the commercial wearing the traditional dress of various countries.)
What interested me in particular was the difference between the reactions of Japanese and foreigners who saw this ad. At my labor union there are members of many different nationalities, the large majority of whom expressed unhappiness or indignation toward the ad. “How did they fail to anticipate this would offend people?” many asked.
On the other hand, Japanese people I know reacted with bewilderment. “It’s certainly childish,” their comments tended to run, “but I couldn’t call it racist. On the contrary, since blond hair and big noses are something that in Japanese culture have long been held up as attractive, the ad is more an expression of Japanese people’s sense of inferiority.”
My personal opinion is that the ad is a disappointing anachronism, and a reminder of the parochial outlook of large Japanese corporations. The ad appeals to the facile formula that “foreigner = white = blonde and big-nosed = English-speaking = globalization.” But this feels bizarrely outdated and out of place coming from ANA, a major carrier trying to depict the airport generically — and Haneda in particular — as some sort of stage for exchange between the world’s many races and nationalities. Instead, the ad unintentionally shows that the Japanese archetype of the gaijin (foreigner) remains as strong as ever.
So why is it that so many of the Japanese people I spoke to couldn’t understand why foreigners would be angry about this “racist” ad? I think, fundamentally, it has to do with the very narrow image that postwar Japan has had of what “abroad” and “foreigners” mean. Because postwar Japan has been politically, socially, culturally and in almost every other respect in thrall to the West — and particularly the United States — the view that blond, big-nosed, blue-eyed and English-speaking are somehow “better” or the “global model” is widespread.
At the same time, the former targets of Japanese invasion in Asia, such as China and South Korea, have been largely ignored. Political leaders have avoided the question of responsibility for the war, and ordinary people have relatively little opportunity to study their own recent history. Japan has considered itself as separate from Asia, due to its status as the only Asian country that succeeded in developing into a major economic power. For postwar Japan, “foreign” has basically meant “American.”
As Japan’s own economic engine has puttered out, China has started to grow rapidly and South Korea has become a major hub of popular entertainment and industry, and many Japanese now feel threatened and see these countries as rivals.
The Japanese media have been eager to belittle their neighbors. And so, Japan, which up to now had adopted a “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” attitude to its history of war against its neighbors, is at the stage where its politicians are actively trying to make excuses for its past aggression and are even trying to apportion blame to the Koreans and Chinese.
Japan is thus far from becoming “global” in any real sense of the word. In a nutshell, the world for Japan consists of China and Korea — the objects of resentment and controversy — and the rest, who are all blond, big-nosed English-speakers.
Japanese women’s magazines often run articles with titles like “How to do your makeup for that foreign look” or “half look,” where “foreigner” obviously means “white Westerner” and “half” means “a half-Japanese, half-white mix.” No one who reads these headlines would consider that they could be referring to half-Chinese or half-Filipino Japanese, even though we inhabit a world of around 200 different countries, most of which are majority non-Caucasian.
Read more here .... http://www.japantimes.co.jp/community/2014/02/12/issues/ana-caricature-speaks-volumes-about-japans-outdated-mind-set/#.UwW2lWKSxki


Another thing now is....ANA quickly or not so quickly removed the ad. In any event, after the white people complained about the ad, ANA changed it. Japan is yet to get rid of the Black Sambo books that are still in some book stores.


Translation ... Small, Black Sambo

We complain about it but they are still there. Is it that Japan are afraid of whites but simply ignore blacks? Food for thought. Obviously white people aren't going to complain about this because it is not their issue. We have to do something about it, because just like the ANA commercial, Japanese generally don't see Black Sambo books as racist.

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Day 2163 ( Football in The cold )
Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Did 2 classes at the YMCA, went home then played football after like a 3 months break. I can't believe myself sometime. I played football in the blistering cold... my hand middle started getting blue !!! But it was good exercise and it was fun!




I finally got someone to trust me with my Thailand visit!!!... I called the Thailand embassy and they said that the guarantor only needs to live in Japan, they don't necessarily have to be a Japanese citizen.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Regarding the Sambo imagery, it is certainly very telling when that commercial got such a speedy apology-treatment whereas the Sambo did not. I imagine this is politics as usual, African business parties value less than the EuroAmerican ones, foreign relations policy is issued thereafter. Follow the dollar.

But now for something different. Something really heartwarming, about this kid, Hajime Arita, who took a lone stance AGAINST racism against blacks way way back in 1989. Something for which he apparently recognized and much appreciated for doing so by some quite well known and affluent African-americans in person. In Japan, too he had supporters, as well as detractors who seemingly HATED the boy to the point of not so overt death threats.
http://www.inochi-life.net/archives_racism_in_japan.html
http://books.google.cz/books?id=sLsDAAAAMBAJ&pg=PA37&lpg=PA37&dq=%22Hajime+Arita%22&source=bl&ots=jnmBsjlfNr&sig=H-Kt21IbMOnA_1A_GDSFJeH0ub8&hl=cs&sa=X&ei=zi3kU4KNL-SaygOPzIDADQ&ved=0CCAQ6AEwBA

Ah, the innocence of a child. While we're on the subject, I understand only too well what you are saying when you talk about racism being deeply ingrained in us humans, even kids. I do, but I also feel compelled to show those examples that negates and refutes the assumption that everyone is like that. I've come to believe that racism is a learned behavior, a by-product of age and experience. Now, what we are looking at is indeed universal - what little kids do is and what us adults do is the same - we look for the familiar and fear the unknown. We may be programmed to look for traits that allow us to recognize our own group, such as hue-tone, facial features, culture, such things. A mix of nature and nurture interplay. I don't oppose that we have different group identities. Everyone walks a different path, I've never been too fond of the idea that we should all get-together and forget who we are. Some kinda identity will still emerge as we stay put on our different islands when there is no more travel in us. That's not to say that everything ought to always be the same. People change. Might as well improve inter-cultural co-operation.

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Led

davay colly said...

That was a very interesting article LED.. never had a clue about that. I now think the racism think is both a combination of nature and nurture. More nurture .... if thought the right way then racism can be prevented.