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Monday, January 26, 2015

News in Japan: 4 things women are banned from doing in Japan / Is being in an international marriage any more or less difficult than a "regular" marriage? / Short clip of my Music video ... coming soon

News in Japan

4 things women are banned from doing in Japan

By Amy Chavez - Japan Today

Women have been prohibited from doing certain things (entering places, using facilities, etc.) for as long as civilization has existed. Restrictions are still common, albeit usually in religious contexts only. While religions themselves evolve and change with the times and bans are lifted, it doesn’t mean all of them get an update.
As women, we all know the purported reasons behind these bans: women are “impure” because we menstruate (the same impure biological process that allows us to give life to men), we are the physically weaker sex, and we distract men with our beauty. Yada, yada, yada.
Today, we take a look at four things women are still not allowed to do in Japan. I’ve divided them into bans and semi-bans. Bans allow no women; semi-bans allow women – but only sometimes.
Of course, it’s high time these restrictions were lifted. While much headway has been made in the past, such as the lifting of the rule preventing women from climbing Mount Fuji, other bans are proving more stubborn despite protests by Japanese women’s groups. Will these restrictions be lifted anytime soon? Only the Japanese people can decide.


1. Ban: Climbing to the top of Mount Omine
Reason: Women are a “distraction”

If you’ve ever dreamed of climbing Mount Omine in Nara Prefecture (officially known as Mt. Sanjo) – a UNESCO World Heritage Site, and one of the 100 most famous mountains in Japan – we hope you’re not a woman. You might be surprised to learn that UNESCO doesn’t take gender into consideration when awarding World Heritage status, but heritage sites that ban the entire female race can be found in Myanmar, India, and Greece as well as Japan.
Mt. Omine won World Heritage status as part of a larger category of Sacred Sites and Pilgrimage Routes in the Kii Mountain Range. In fact, the popular Kumano Pilgrimage route goes through the sacred area but makes allowances for women hiking through this part. They are still prohibited, however, from climbing up to Ominesanji Temple at the top of the mountain.

This interdiction is carried over from the old days when, according to Shinto tradition, it was felt that women’s alluring nature would distract male pilgrims from their ascetic duties. Well, perhaps all women were drop-dead gorgeous then, or maybe during those days it was de rigueur for women to hike around naked. But that’s certainly not the case today. Besides, you’d think the real test of a pilgrim seeking religious purity via the strict denial of worldly pleasures, would be to insist that he strictly deny himself worldly pleasures.

For information on updates to this rule, I made a quick call to Oku Japan, who runs off-the-beaten-track tours to places such as the Kumano Pilgrimage. One of their female guides confirmed the exclusion and said that in recent years they have started taking steps to soften it. She says that while it’s unlikely anyone would try to stop you from entering the mountain path, the local people still take pride in the rule and there may be friction if you enter. She doesn’t recommend pushing the limits.
At any rate, despite the edict seeming inimical to tourism, who are we to decide what local people should allow and not allow within their heritage sites? And one should never disrespectfully trample upon religious traditions. But we can still hope that more softening will take place to the degree of baby softness, and that women will be able to hike up the mountain some day, even while menstruating.

There is one part of the mountain, called Mount Inamura (稲村ヶ岳) that is sometimes referred to as Nyonin Omine (女人大峯), or “Women’s Ōmine,” reserved for ladies. Let’s hope there’s a bar set up there with sake and hors d’oeuvres.


2. Ban: Entering the sumo ring, taking part in sumo competitions
Reason: women violate the purity of the sumo ring

The Japan Sumo Association claims that since women have traditionally not been allowed to take part in sumo activities through the centuries, it would be a dishonor to all of their ancestors to change it. Well, that pretty much seals the case since we can’t get permission from the ancestors. Or can we? Why not get in touch with the Itako fortunetellers of Aomori Prefecture, known for their ability to talk with the dead? Surely this is just a formality and all she has to do is run the idea past the sumo ancestors.

With the impressive number of Japanese women in martial arts these days, and the recent ignominy from a decade of scandals, you’d think women would get tacit approval from the ancestors as well. Besides, there have been suggestions that women’s sumo did play a role in some Shinto rituals in the past, so we could clear that up at the same time. Hey, it’s worth a try because as it stands now, women are not allowed to enter the sumo ring even to present prizes to the wrestlers (and yes, women are chosen to give prizes).

And, as with most things that claim women are impure, we’re not that impure since we’re expected to assist our sumo wrestler spouses in their duties, and, should we be married to a stable master, to dedicate our time to helping out those training under him. So there you go: “Behind every successful man is a supportive (impure) woman.”

I might even be fine with excluding women from the sumo ring if the law were a bit more fungible and allowed women to create their own professional league. This is truly long overdue since women’s sumo, called “onnazumo,” has been around as an amateur sport since the early 18th century. It is now a modern female sport in Japan that includes women of all ages. Yet it is still forbidden from having professional status.


3. Semi-Ban: Staying in capsule hotels
Reason: Targeted towards businessmen

You may have heard that many of Japan’s capsule hotels are men-only. That’s not true; almost all are men-only. To most people it’s enough to say that the rule doesn’t exist anymore because there are now capsule hotels that allow women. But if a woman just randomly rocks up to a capsule hotel, she’s going to be turned away 99 times out of 100. So it’s more correct to say that women are still not permitted at most capsule hotels.

This budget accommodation, where you stay inside a capsule-like tube, used to be the exclusively for males because such it targeted business men and those who drank until late enough at night to have missed the last train home to the suburbs (the occasional drunk business woman presumably had to either sleep in the gutter or hope she had enough money left over to stay at a higher priced hotel). Some capsule hotels are recognizing that women also work long hours and tend to drink and miss the last train home, and thus have added women’s floors. But not many. Don’t expect to find any that accept females in the countryside. I know – I slept outside once while on the Shikoku Pilgrimage because all the local hotels were full and the one nearby capsule hotel didn’t accept women.
Here are a few female-friendly capsule hotels with English websites: Asahi Plaza in Osaka. Green Plaza in Tokyo and Nine Hours which has long been one of our favorites and has two locations: Narita Airport and Kyoto. Outside of the big cities? Forget about it.


4. Semi-Ban: Becoming sushi chefs
Reason: Women’s hands are too warm, so could ruin the flavor of the sushi.

This subject has been discussed in much detail in several English media outlets, and it was declared an urban myth by National Public Radio in the U.S.. But the fact remains that many Japanese people still believe women shouldn’t be sushi chefs. And while men are happy to have their wives make sushi at home, the denizens of the kitchen are rarely seen preparing it at restaurants, considered to be the domain of male chefs.

Jiro Ono, owner of the Michelin 3-star restaurant Sukiyabashi Jiro, has a son who told Speakeasy (the Wall Street Journal blog) that women shouldn’t become sushi chefs because they menstruate. In the interview he said, “To be a professional means to have a steady taste in your food, but because of the menstrual cycle women have an imbalance in their taste, and that’s why women can’t be sushi chefs.” He didn’t elaborate on their chances of becoming sushi chefs after menopause.
Of course this is just pabulum to appease the restaurant elites. We know the truth – put a beautiful woman behind the sushi bar and you’ll sell a lot more sushi.

Well, with all the ballyhoo about menstruation and impurity, it’s a wonder women can succeed in anything at all. Yet we do, all by our little menstrual selves. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a busy schedule today distracting ascetics and pandering my feminine charm to any male passerby – it’s all in a typical day of a pre-menopausal woman.



Is being in an international marriage any more or less difficult than a "regular" marriage? What are some issues that you think might torpedo an international marriage (or relationship)?

by Japan Today

Best comments !


In the case of an international marriage to a Japanese woman, the biggest problem is that there is a very high chance that she will unilaterally shut down sexual relations at some point. (usually after having kids)
Some guys will come on here and tell us that they still have a good sex life with their Japanese wife. Good for them, but I think they are a minority.

A sexless marriage is so common in Japan that it has almost become the norm (or else it actually is the norm).
The fact is that many Japanese women decide that they no longer need/want/like sex and just shut it down.
And once it is gone it is gone. Forget any ideas of trying to persuade her to change her mind, or of going to counseling together, or whatever. She's not interested and Japanese women are also very stubborn... once she's decided, that's it... game over.

Japanese guys perhaps expect it and therefore can accept it more easily. But for a non-Japanese guy married to a Japanese woman it is a terrible blow.
And I think it is very selfish and cruel of a woman to torpedo the marriage in that way.


LFRAgain - Response
"A sexless marriage is so common in Japan that it has almost become the norm (or else it actually is the norm)."
This is sadly true. And "sadly" is really the best word for it. Having experienced my wife's unilateral decision to end sexual relations firsthand, I was compelled to look into the issue by asking female Japanese friends and acquaintances about this sudden change of heart. Turns out it is indeed the "norm." Apparently, the prevailing attitude is that after a child enters the picture, the interpersonal dynamics are no longer that of "wife and husband," but rather one of *"mother and father." Sexual desire is not something one experiences for a "father" because it's, well, uncomfortably wrong somehow. Conversely, the women I spoke with said they could no longer feel sexy in the eyes of their husbands because they were now "mothers" first an foremost. Something that needs to be said, however, is that it wasn't a situation where sexual desire itself was extinguished. Rather, sexual desire with one's one husband had diminished since he now wore the primary title of "father."

I asked how this worked out when they wanted another child beyond the first, and many said they simply grinned and bore sex with their husbands as an unfortunate necessity. Others said they still had sex with their husbands, but only because they felt bad for him or that sex was a "duty" they had to fulfill as "wife."

"The fact is that many Japanese women decide that they no longer need/want/like sex and just shut it down"

This, even more sadly, is patently untrue. The desire for intimacy and sexual activity still exists. But not with the husband. Enter infidelity.
To be fair, these are all issues for Japanese husbands as well. One of the most depressing conversations I had ever had was with a co-worker one night after a bit of drinking. He confessed that while he loved his wife as a good person and as the mother of his two children, she was not the one he was "in love" with, and that he had been carrying on a secret affair with a woman with whom he was truly "in love" for several years, supposedly unbeknownst to his wife. When I asked if he had ever considered divorce, he replied, “Why would I? The family is solid, so there’s no need to change anything since everyone is getting what they want.”

It's depressing, but the number of Japanese "sexless" marriages that are anything but would shock even the most jaded Westerner, I suspect. That Japanese couples seem almost resigned to this unending, cynical dynamic is even more disheartening; As long as the husband fulfiils his "role" as provider and the wife as "nurturer," no one seems to see a need to change anything, and infidelity continues unabated. Granted, if it works for Japan, then who am I to criticize? But with Japanese society wrestling with the riddle of why its young are turning their backs on marriage in droves, I'm not so sure this dysfunctional version of marriage actually does Japan any favors.

For any marriage to succeed, international or otherwise, the lines of communication have to open and unimpeded. Language differences can give rise to the inability to express hopes, desires and expectations born of one's cultural and social upbringing. If an international couple goes into a marriage not knowing any of the above, for example, it can cause a catastrophic disintegration of the marriage. But if a couple can find a way to navigate the and misconceptions and misunderstandings that will invariably arise in the face of two different cultures meeting (and clashing), then the relationship has about as good a chance of survival as any.




23 seconds Clip of my Music video being edited 

And I'm sure most of you haven't received your copy of my latest project yet. So ...

Looking slightly stalkerish Sarah ... Scary lol jus kidding

Amazon .com 


Amazon Japan


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